My Mind

My Mind
This is my mind

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Sitt and Poot

Poot Manwich had just lost the battle. It seems his baggage was too heavy to lug from one public appearance to another. His opponent, Sitt Dumbly, seemed light on his feet without carrying so much luggage. His smile was tepid but constant as he stared vacantly at Poot talking on about his constitution.
Poot blasted the moderator for asking a question he thought was impertinant and salacious in content.
"It's a matter of record. You can't ask a question that has no bearing on this campaign and expect to waste time giving it credence when my constitution is at risk. Our people need to look beyond a man's foibles. I know tha everyone here has something in his or her past that they would prefer the media not pick up on."
Sitt continued to stare statue-like, his mild grin fixed, at Poot. Normally the audience would be able to see the wheels turning in the mind of a candidate while he had time to consider what was being said by his opponent. This wasn't the case with Sitt. His face was a placid grin with eyes fixated.
Poot's mouth kept moving, "I don't see the problem anyone would have with my request of my ex-wife about wanting an open carriage. I was an important man in those days and my audience, uh, my public, uh, my constitchents needed a full view of me. I..."
The moderator broke in. "No, Secretary Manwich, it wasn't open carriage. Our sources say you spoke of open marriage."
"Oh, well... Never mind. I have nothing to say about my past and the mistakes I've made. I'm looking ahead and not behind. It's a disgrace you would even mention such a thing on TV like this. Let's move on. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"Let me add that it wasn't our network that broke this story..."
"Let's move on. It's a disgrace that I think you should let go, like I want the sheep, uh..people out there to do."
"You mention sheep..."
"OK, enough about my past. Let's get on with the issues facing us all."
The applause was accentuated by the sound of the entire audience standing.
Poot smiled. He had them in his hands.
Sitt was lost in his own world still staring at Poot, his maudling grin fixed.
"Governor Dumbly do you have anything to say about this matter of great concern to our audience?"
Sitt turned toward the moderator his chest ballooning out and his smile slipping into animated words.
"I think it's vitally important that the background of a man be aired to see what our people have to choose. Here we have a man who has so much in his past that points to what he will be in the future that we must open it up to public scrutiny. He's taken money from Fanny Hill who was a poor and destitute woman of poor means who had to earn a living the best she could. I think it's shameful that he would do such a thing. Some would give such activity the moniker pimp but I don't want to bring such a word into this campaign," he said his smile slowly filing across his face.
"Uh, Governor, I think you mean Fannie Mae. You're thinking of a novel written in the 1700's."
"Oh, I can't have all my facts straight. It's my handler's they handle everything for me. I don't have those facts on the tip of my tongue."
"Well, speaking of facts, something new to this campaign, could you please tell us why you have not released info on your taxls. Poot has released his as of this morning."
"That's right. My taxis are there for all to see. I always use Mellow Cab."
"Uh, why do you bring that up? I haven't done that because I wanted to wait until I'm the Stumblecan candidate on the ballot against The Dentalcat O'Dammit. I see no reason to give out that info now. I am not ashamed of my success. My fleet of limousines is so far above a Mellow Cabs that those who handle them haven't had time to present paperwork. I will have them file the info when I feel the time is right. And, for those of you able to afford it, my limos offer a much smoother ride along with accouterments far beyond the leather seats smelling of tobacco and vomit that Poot's Mellow Cabs offer. Go for the elegant ride."
"Unfair!" shouted Poot. "He was given free ad time."
"He did slip one in there didn't he? Now on with the show," said the moderator. "Senator Ron Saul, do you have anything to add?"
"Well, the real problem here is..."
"Thank you, Senator. Well said."
"Well, Mick Planatarium, what do you have to add?"
"Thank you for my moment in the spotlight. I'm here by a fluke and don't really know what to say at this point. Maybe in the next show I can get myself together."
"Thank you sir."
"Now back to the two men we want to play with for the rest of the season, Poot Manwich and Sitt Dumbly."
"Speaker Poot, do you have anything to add for our audience?"
"I'd like to say that I am the man. I did so much for this country in the past that it shouldn't have to be regurgitated every ten minutes on the TV. Just remember I was important and I can be important again."
"And, you, Govenor Dumbly?"
"I say dredge up the past of this man. See how he stumbled and fell while he was in the public eye. I'm all for exposing his fallabilities but don't go asking about mine just because I'm successful. I'm a leader. I'm the man who can beat O'Dammit and don't you forget it."
The moderator looked at the other two candidates and with a shake of his head said, "Do you guys have anything further?"
Senator Saul looked at the camera and said, "This is all wrong. We need to talk about the economy or the country is going to ..."
"Thank you, Senator Saul. And you, Mick?"
"I'd like to thank everyone who gave me a chance to stand here toni...."
"And thank you, too, Mick Planatarium. That's our show tonight folks. Tune in again next week when we hope our coverage will wittle the contestants down to the two we want to egg on until they rip the Stumblecan party apart and we can continue to gloss over the bumbling of the present occupant of the White House. It's our intention to report all the news as we see fit so that we can lead all of you out there in televison land where we want you to go. Good night all."

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